On Bullies
Oct. 14th, 2010 10:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
musingaloudMy friend and I were discussing the bullying and intolerance by some young people towards those who they perceive as "different" from themselves.
It's a tangled web out there. The schools and teachers are being blamed by some, and while I do support the schools having a No Tolerance for Bullying attitude, I believe the core problem lies not at school but in the home. Teachers and school administration can talk until they're blue in the face about tolerance and acceptance, but do kids listen to anything they hear in class? Not if, at the end of the day, they return to a home filled with hate and spite. I don't know about elsewhere in the country, but in my state, the parents have taken away authority from the schools. There's not much the schools can do to discipline kids except send them home--which is a positive reward for some kids, because they're just happy to get away from school. And what happens then? Responsible parents have consequences for their misbehaving children. But I think you know, as well as I do, that the responsible parents are not always (there are, of course, always exceptions) the problem. It's the parents who can't be bothered to enforce discipline or ask for better behavior from their children. Or maybe they and their kids are caught up in a pattern of negative behaviors. Maybe they're secretly -- or, even worse, openly -- applauding their child's actions. I don't expect the schools to parent my children and teach them right from wrong. That's my job. I do think the schools can reinforce the messages I try to teach my children, but I don't think it's right to send your children to school to learn things about behavior and tolerance that they should be learning at home. I think it all boils down to parents have to be more responsible. And as always, it's not the one who are listening that are the problem. It's the ones that don't listen. How do we help them?
I don't know the answer, but I hope someone comes up with one soon. I suspect a true solution would have to be one that addresses the myriad and complex root problems.
Just to make it official. I support everyone's right to be "different", to not fit into a one-sized-fits-all mold. I do not support bullying or intolerance.
It's a tangled web out there. The schools and teachers are being blamed by some, and while I do support the schools having a No Tolerance for Bullying attitude, I believe the core problem lies not at school but in the home. Teachers and school administration can talk until they're blue in the face about tolerance and acceptance, but do kids listen to anything they hear in class? Not if, at the end of the day, they return to a home filled with hate and spite. I don't know about elsewhere in the country, but in my state, the parents have taken away authority from the schools. There's not much the schools can do to discipline kids except send them home--which is a positive reward for some kids, because they're just happy to get away from school. And what happens then? Responsible parents have consequences for their misbehaving children. But I think you know, as well as I do, that the responsible parents are not always (there are, of course, always exceptions) the problem. It's the parents who can't be bothered to enforce discipline or ask for better behavior from their children. Or maybe they and their kids are caught up in a pattern of negative behaviors. Maybe they're secretly -- or, even worse, openly -- applauding their child's actions. I don't expect the schools to parent my children and teach them right from wrong. That's my job. I do think the schools can reinforce the messages I try to teach my children, but I don't think it's right to send your children to school to learn things about behavior and tolerance that they should be learning at home. I think it all boils down to parents have to be more responsible. And as always, it's not the one who are listening that are the problem. It's the ones that don't listen. How do we help them?
I don't know the answer, but I hope someone comes up with one soon. I suspect a true solution would have to be one that addresses the myriad and complex root problems.
Just to make it official. I support everyone's right to be "different", to not fit into a one-sized-fits-all mold. I do not support bullying or intolerance.
