musingaloud | Guilt guilt guilt (Reply)

I'm being a bad grandma. The grandtoddler needs to be rocked to sleep for his naps. After this weekend when we kept him overnight and I had to rock him to sleep at night too, and the second night took over 30 minutes because twice when I tried to lay him down, he woke up and cried, I decided I need to break him of his rocking habit. Truth be told, there's nothing better than to rock a little one, his head on your chest, his body soft and relaxed and oh so trusting in your ability to keep him warm and loved and safe. But some days there's a limit to my patience and today is the day. But my heart is breaking. He fell asleep easily enough while rocking but twice I tried to put him in the crib and both times he woke up crying and demanding to be rocked. So I sat back down and rocked some more and he fell back to sleep only to wake up again once his little head felt the crib beneath it. And I don't feel so hot today and so by then I'm tired and grouchy myself and irritated so I closed the door to his crying and left the room. And now I'm listening to his pathetic cries for "Gwandma gwandma gwandma" and feeling like the world's worst. I know it's not the end of the world. But isn't this what grandmas are for? Unconditional love and rocking? Even when we don't feel so hot?

EDIT: Ok he's stopped crying, but he's in his crib talking away. Looks like there may not be a nap today. But I'm going to be strong and leave him in there and hope he eventually falls asleep.