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My psychotic persistence
Feb. 5th, 2009 06:08 pmMost of you have probably seen ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jaylake 's entry on psychotic persistence and how it can make a better writer out of you. And then marshall_payne chimed in with a great story about a master violinist quashing the fire in a young violinist with a critique. This time of year has always been a bad one for me, writing-wise. Combination of post-holiday stress and what I like to call American-Idol-audition-reject-itis. I hate the audition part of the show because it hurts me to see the judges trashing young singers' hopes. And it hurts me to see singers who are so so so bad, and don't have a clue about it. And i always end up comparing me and my writing to them and their singing. What if my writing is as bad as their singing and I don't know it? Yes, it's my little whine and pity party that I invite myself to every year. And then there's the singers who are good, but just not good enough. They don't stand out. Mediocre.
My point is not to whine, truly. It relates to my pschotic persistence in that I just received a rejection that I had pinned high hopes on. I'm so hungry for a pro sale that I can taste it. And rejections always set me on my butt, sure that my writing sucks. And I spend some time kicking myself in the ass and berating myself and threatening to quit writing and then before I know it, I'm back writing again as if nothing ever happened.
Psychotic? Oh my, yes. I guess it's that unique human adaptability that allows me to forget all that angst and move on. It's how we survive. On my good minutes (no, not days!) I think to myself that this latest reject might just push me up to that next level. Because the feedback from the editors was there was nothing wrong with the story. It made it to the very last. What that translates to me is that the story was good. But it wasn't great. And great is what they're buying these days. And if I don't step it up and make my stories great, that pro sale will continue to elude me. So yes, I can for the first itme, view a rejection as a good thing. *IF* I can figure out how to make my stories great that is. That's the thing that rather mystifies me at the moment. I'm hoping for enlightenment or an epiphany here. Lightning strike?
jaylake 's entry on psychotic persistence and how it can make a better writer out of you. And then marshall_payne chimed in with a great story about a master violinist quashing the fire in a young violinist with a critique. This time of year has always been a bad one for me, writing-wise. Combination of post-holiday stress and what I like to call American-Idol-audition-reject-itis. I hate the audition part of the show because it hurts me to see the judges trashing young singers' hopes. And it hurts me to see singers who are so so so bad, and don't have a clue about it. And i always end up comparing me and my writing to them and their singing. What if my writing is as bad as their singing and I don't know it? Yes, it's my little whine and pity party that I invite myself to every year. And then there's the singers who are good, but just not good enough. They don't stand out. Mediocre.My point is not to whine, truly. It relates to my pschotic persistence in that I just received a rejection that I had pinned high hopes on. I'm so hungry for a pro sale that I can taste it. And rejections always set me on my butt, sure that my writing sucks. And I spend some time kicking myself in the ass and berating myself and threatening to quit writing and then before I know it, I'm back writing again as if nothing ever happened.
Psychotic? Oh my, yes. I guess it's that unique human adaptability that allows me to forget all that angst and move on. It's how we survive. On my good minutes (no, not days!) I think to myself that this latest reject might just push me up to that next level. Because the feedback from the editors was there was nothing wrong with the story. It made it to the very last. What that translates to me is that the story was good. But it wasn't great. And great is what they're buying these days. And if I don't step it up and make my stories great, that pro sale will continue to elude me. So yes, I can for the first itme, view a rejection as a good thing. *IF* I can figure out how to make my stories great that is. That's the thing that rather mystifies me at the moment. I'm hoping for enlightenment or an epiphany here. Lightning strike?
