musingaloud (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
musingaloud) wrote2007-06-22 08:58 am
musingaloud) wrote2007-06-22 08:58 am
(no subject)
We're scheduled to leave for a trip tomorrow. First up to see my aunt, who has cancer and is not doing well. Then on for a 3-day anniversay trip. Looks like we may have to cancel. My mother-in-law is in the hospital with severe back pain -- she can't stand up straight, nor lay on her left side -- and so far it's a lot of "hurry up and wait". They've had trouble getting a MRI done because they can't get her to lay flat or still -- even with copious amounts of drugs. They did do one yesterday after numerous shots of who knows what, but she was moving around so they're not sure they got a clear shot. I guess we're waiting on a neurosurgeon or something to decide if they can do anything for her or not. All we can do at this point is sit and watch her thrash, sleep, and push the morphine button. But if they decide they can do surgery then that's a different matter. Problem is the slow.... slooooowwwww.... barely-turning-wheel.
I've "discovered" I'm a coaster. I say "discovered" because it's not news to me -- I'm just acknowledging it and naming it. Coaster in that I don't like problems or hard decisions. I just want to coast through life and have things be calm and serene.
I'm coasting through my need to change internet providers. I just don't want to hassle with it. And that's a sad thing. Shame on me. A few minutes of hassle will create much further enjoyment, right? And do away with the hassle I'm going through lately waiting for pages to load. I resorted to my dial-up connection this morning.
Of course this coasting is an unrealistic attitude, and I realize today that this attitude is what affects my writing. When I'm unsure of where to take a story or what plot point to employ, I don't want to push to make it happen, so I coast away on a computer game or reading or cleaning or tv-watching or anything else I can think of. I need to make a big sign for myself: NO COASTING ALLOWED. PUSH PUSH PUSH!
So, speaking of no coasting, I should quit internet-grazing and get on with my day, which is full of things needing to be done.
I've "discovered" I'm a coaster. I say "discovered" because it's not news to me -- I'm just acknowledging it and naming it. Coaster in that I don't like problems or hard decisions. I just want to coast through life and have things be calm and serene.
I'm coasting through my need to change internet providers. I just don't want to hassle with it. And that's a sad thing. Shame on me. A few minutes of hassle will create much further enjoyment, right? And do away with the hassle I'm going through lately waiting for pages to load. I resorted to my dial-up connection this morning.
Of course this coasting is an unrealistic attitude, and I realize today that this attitude is what affects my writing. When I'm unsure of where to take a story or what plot point to employ, I don't want to push to make it happen, so I coast away on a computer game or reading or cleaning or tv-watching or anything else I can think of. I need to make a big sign for myself: NO COASTING ALLOWED. PUSH PUSH PUSH!
So, speaking of no coasting, I should quit internet-grazing and get on with my day, which is full of things needing to be done.